Professional communication is so important to our business and lives.My objectives are the following three points:
First, is it possible for me to get familiar with others by few talks?
Second, as a foreign speaker, whether I can use English to clearly express what I means?
Third, how can I still carry on effective communication when the dialogue is carried on special scenario,as public speaking,telephone conference, and formal business letter？
First, is it possible for me to get familiar with others by few talks?
Second, as a foreign speaker, whether I can use English to clearly express what I means?
Third, how can I still carry on effective communication when the dialogue is carried on special scenario,as public speaking,telephone conference, and formal business letter？
Although I haven't discussed with MR Blackstone for this issue, I believe the good way is to train under the objective-oriented method. This idea is what I steal from programming: when the project is huge, try to separate it into diverse objects; then settle objects from one to one. Since the professional communication has a multitude of skills required to train,I need to carry out one by one by an sequence order.
Another I think important is to frequently summarize and integrate pieces of knowledge into a system. professional communication needs a strong clue to string all trivial knowledge into a system, which we can grasp and take advantage into our daily work and life.
Professional Communication is a science but an applied science. During the class, participation is beneficial, especially between individuals with different backgrounds, culture, and mother tongue. with some advanced social network tools like Facebook,Google+, Linkeditin, we can accelerate our learning process with great convenience.
There are diverse reasons for why I choose ES2007S. First, it is an compulsory module by our department; Moreover, I thought I need to enhance my communicating ability with Heterosexual since I had broken the relationship with my girlfriend last semester. Further after I took several career talks, I found the communication skills are crucial for my internship job in the following winter vocation.
I hope I can do well of this module in this semester.Thanks for all our fellow helps.
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ReplyDeleteI like how you seemed to have invested a lot of time on this post, and I would really recommend you to follow the hints and the advice I am going to give you.
ReplyDelete- You seemed to have used a translator from chinese to english to write this post.
-Never ever refer to wikipedia.
-Try to use spell check.
-Try to reread what you wrote and make sure it follows a certain logic because I am sure you did not mean "I need to enhance my communicating ability with Heterosexual"
I would recommend you to respect the following for a next blog post.
-Try to be short, simple and concise (I emphasize on simple).
-Define the context, do not start with iPhone 4 and then jump to the Victorian era.
-Write with the words you know IN English, do not write in Chinese then translate to English.
-Write in short sentences. Some of your sentences are a paragraph long.
I hope you do not feel I am too harsh, I am only trying to help.
Rami
PS: I would recommend you to change the language of you blog to English. People are surely having trouble to post on your blog.
Hey Desmond,
ReplyDeleteYour aims and the things that you want to learn from the course are very clear. You have also thought about the approach that you would like to take and learn from there. I felt that that was very nice. I also like the way that you tried to relate effective communication with your field of study. That was very interesting.
You also tried to draw an analogy between people liking the idea of simple and the idea of being concise. However, personally, I felt that that was vague.
The Victorian era part of your post seems to be copied and pasted from somewhere. I feel that you should try to avoid that as much as possible because the whole purpose of your blog will be to give the world your personal thoughts on issues.
There are grammatical errors in your post and you may want to write your blog post in Microsoft Word first to ensure that there are no fragmented sentences or spelling errors. You may also want to have a draft and ask one of your friends to look through it before posting it on your blog. The main purpose would be to check for any errors and whether they understand the flow of your post.
I agree with Rami that you should change the language of your blog to English because it took me quite a while and a lot of clicking before I finally got to the 'post a comment' page.
Like Rami, I feel that your post is too long and maybe for the next blog you could focus on the topic and be more concise. See you around school.
Cheers,
Ramandeep
Hi Desmond,
ReplyDeleteReally impressive effort in your post! However, like Rami has mentioned above, it is important to recognise the need for concise and clear writing, which are key characteristics in effective communication.
The post should focus on the topic given, which is why effective communication is important for you. In your writing you have also included the course details for ES2007S, your perceived model of effective communication and excessive emphasis on defining communication itself. Trimming the details of less relevance will help in constructing a concise piece of writing.
Like you have stated in your post, simple is better. For myself, I don't quite understand the iPhone analogy. Bringing in uncommon terms like 'Victorian era'and 'Aristocracy' also complicates the message you were trying to convey. Simpler description such as 'in the past' will make the message clearer to the reader.
Hope my comments will help you in some way towards achieving your goal for this module!
Cheers,
Bernard
Thank you, Desmond, for this comprehensive post. I assume the highlighted areas are the ones you intend to cut. Or is it the non-highlighted areas?
ReplyDeleteIn any case, though there are significant language problems here that do inhibit clear comprehension, I appreciate the way you apply concepts from engineering in your discussion of communication skills. For example, you mention the objective-oriented method of addressing your communication needs. (Although this would be clearer if you explained it in more detail.) Thanks for that.
With regard to your language difficulties, I see a number of problems in word forms that present barriers for us to understand you. Look at these examples:
- Refereed to >>> Referencing / Referring to
- of encompasses >>> of encompassing
- when executes >>> when executing
- So what most important should be accurate >>> so what is most important should be accuracy
You also have a few instances of verb tense inconsistency, which I would like you to locate.
For me, the most challenging aspect of this post, one mentioned by other readers, is that you overwhelm us with your ideas. I would suggest as others have that you focus more narrowly, and develop a set of ideas that are more easily managed. For example, if you want to make an analogy between programming and communication, focus on that alone. In short, to use the American expression, don't bite off more than you can chew.
I look forward to helping you achieve your objectives this term.
(One more thing, Desmond. It would be better if you put this blog's language into English. Is that possible?)
Hey Desmond,
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I wanna say here is that I totally agree with Rami that YOU SHOULD NEVER CITE WIKIPEDIA.
Anyone can edit it in a second; I bet you know that.
What you should do instead is going to reference pages on Wikipedia, and after reading, cite those sources.
Another thing I would like to emphasize is about technical words used in your essay.
As Brad mentioned, it's good that you use analogy but you can explain more in details when words used are very technical.
For example, Fourier transform is not self-explanatory so you should spend some time describing.
Cheers,
Tong
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